Stronger

I always wanted to become a tough girl.
And i thought im strong enough to face all problems by my own.
But the inner me will never be like what i expected. Always weak and useless.
I admit that i have been relying on people so much.
Actually what do i really want is just a little bit of caring, im just trying to get some attention.
Sometimes is not me not being supportive but try to think when im with my stuff?

You did the same arent you? 

You just dont understand why am i behaving like this all the time. 

And you think that is because you're too busy with yourself till you neglected me.

You know what, is true! How you neglected me is not because you spend more time with your business. But i will always be the last to know about it.

Whenever i asked you then only you will tell. Do you know what does it mean?

Im actually not that important to you. 

I accept that was the truth and i realise it from the start. It starts when we talk about meeting our parents untill today. I am always the first who ask for it. Ask yourself and speak from the bottom of your heart. Do you really care and appreaciate this relationship? Im like nothing to you. You will only sees me when you are free. But whenever it comes to your business, i eventually dissapear from you mind. Can see through naked eyes that you show more interest to all the stuff compare to me. And true, that when im busy i will neglected you. But reconsider about it, ive got no choice. It was a part of my acedemic and i only have one stuff to busy. What about you? You have 3 big business! Do you know you're much much more busier than me? Can you imagine the duration that i would dissapear from your life? Longer than i could imagine. Im totally not being supportive for your career. But can you sit down and think for a moment, all i need is your attention. Hope i would be the first to know things about you. You suddenly become very passive in this relationship, i never question you will never tell. Sometimes i will get tired too. Why do i always either know it last minute or from other people's mouth? This is a tiny matter for you but i might be a huge matter for me, cause this is not the first time. And until today you still dont even know what am i really got into. Seriously heart broken and started to feel immune. I really hope i can just leave everything behind and not too care so much. Im done! Im getting tired of always being the first who take initiative to ask about your situation. This time my heart gets even colder. Seriously get very tired of it. Do what ever you want, im just a nobody in your life. It doesnt really matter whether im exist. You taught me on how tiny i can be in someones life. Even if i walk out from your life, you may takes some times to realise bout it. This is what i view from you. I believe you will be very successful in future, but i may not be the one standing next to you at that time.