Lil Voice of Mine
After been hiding my blog then i open up again, this is my first blog post.
Never know that this issue worth for a blog post of mine.
It was a long story to tell from how do i get to know this girl and things happen in the middle of these years.
Well, there are always some stories or issues about her among my gang of friends.
Somehow it does involve me sometimes.
And same goes to this time.
I never know that she trusted the social network so much until she expose every single dissatisfaction of her on the social networking.
Previously is facebook, then instagram and this time is twitter.
Why would she do it over and over again, even though underneath but always reveal by others.
We will always coincidence saw her post, no matter what.
Sometimes i believe that this is what we named as fate.
The more she doesn't want us to see, the easier we found her post.
Just heard about her story again.
(Never feel good before everytime listening to them talking about her, but still, i will listen.
Then affect my feeling and become emotional again)
It was about me again.
Her post was saying that "The 'people' is showing off infront of her (suen yao)".
I'm not really sure about the details of her post, but it was so sort of this.
(please excuse my pinyin if im wrong - im very bad in mandarin, hopefully you could understand)
So all of us (my gang of friends) were thinking it was about me, and so do i.
I believe that this is not a coincident or the post was referring to someone else but not me.
Cause i have some connection with her as if i know what she is thinking,
and of course she also know what i'm thinking too.
(Muhahaha..I've been thinking too much, perhaps)
But somehow i really feel is real, like you can feel that we don't really like each other
(I guess you understand)
I'm just wondering what is so big deal of how i'm behaving to her.
Why is she so concern about me?
Is that because of her jealousy? Or maybe she thinks that she lose something else.
I really don't understand but i really wish i could.
Few days ago saw her in the washroom and she smiles to me.
At that moment i was thinking this is the time to solve all these ill will.
Since we are classmates and we gotta face each other everyday accept for holidays.
Honestly, i really feel good smiling back to her.
Really disappointed about this, never know that she is just being sarcastic.
Why would you torture yourself to pretend to be nice to me, when you don't even like me at all.
Who do you wanna prove to? Classmates? Lectures? Outsiders? Or him?
Now i realize that this will be never ending, so i will try my very best to ignore and not to bother so much about you.
But for the sake of god, this time i really hope you could forget him.
Maybe you already gave up on him (i hope) or maybe you don't.
I don't know what were you thinking and what you're hoping from him.
(the only part of her mind that i can't read)
You will never know much i really hope i can talk to you face to face so that i can really ask.
I just hope that we can just be ourselves and stop pretending infront of each other.
And i know this will never gonna happen.
This incident makes me realise how important is him to me.
Not because i don't want to lose to you, but he meant so much for me.
I will treasure him even more after today cause he is my everything.
You will never understand, the tough time i have been through and finally i'm able to be with him.
You will never understand how much i don't want to lose him.
Thanks for giving me this bravery to admit that i really love him more than what i've thought.
You have push me to the limit till i would sacrifices anything to protect our relationship.
This also prove that our love is so real.
So, to my dear.
Just an advise to you, let go everything that you see and feel.
This could actually makes you feel better and happier.
I have no impact or harmful to you.
I'm just a lil character in this whole show.
Hope that you can really leave me alone.
Thanks.
Never know that this issue worth for a blog post of mine.
It was a long story to tell from how do i get to know this girl and things happen in the middle of these years.
Well, there are always some stories or issues about her among my gang of friends.
Somehow it does involve me sometimes.
And same goes to this time.
I never know that she trusted the social network so much until she expose every single dissatisfaction of her on the social networking.
Previously is facebook, then instagram and this time is twitter.
Why would she do it over and over again, even though underneath but always reveal by others.
We will always coincidence saw her post, no matter what.
Sometimes i believe that this is what we named as fate.
The more she doesn't want us to see, the easier we found her post.
Just heard about her story again.
(Never feel good before everytime listening to them talking about her, but still, i will listen.
Then affect my feeling and become emotional again)
It was about me again.
Her post was saying that "The 'people' is showing off infront of her (suen yao)".
I'm not really sure about the details of her post, but it was so sort of this.
(please excuse my pinyin if im wrong - im very bad in mandarin, hopefully you could understand)
So all of us (my gang of friends) were thinking it was about me, and so do i.
I believe that this is not a coincident or the post was referring to someone else but not me.
Cause i have some connection with her as if i know what she is thinking,
and of course she also know what i'm thinking too.
(Muhahaha..I've been thinking too much, perhaps)
But somehow i really feel is real, like you can feel that we don't really like each other
(I guess you understand)
I'm just wondering what is so big deal of how i'm behaving to her.
Why is she so concern about me?
Is that because of her jealousy? Or maybe she thinks that she lose something else.
I really don't understand but i really wish i could.
Few days ago saw her in the washroom and she smiles to me.
At that moment i was thinking this is the time to solve all these ill will.
Since we are classmates and we gotta face each other everyday accept for holidays.
Honestly, i really feel good smiling back to her.
Really disappointed about this, never know that she is just being sarcastic.
Why would you torture yourself to pretend to be nice to me, when you don't even like me at all.
Who do you wanna prove to? Classmates? Lectures? Outsiders? Or him?
Now i realize that this will be never ending, so i will try my very best to ignore and not to bother so much about you.
But for the sake of god, this time i really hope you could forget him.
Maybe you already gave up on him (i hope) or maybe you don't.
I don't know what were you thinking and what you're hoping from him.
(the only part of her mind that i can't read)
You will never know much i really hope i can talk to you face to face so that i can really ask.
I just hope that we can just be ourselves and stop pretending infront of each other.
And i know this will never gonna happen.
This incident makes me realise how important is him to me.
Not because i don't want to lose to you, but he meant so much for me.
I will treasure him even more after today cause he is my everything.
You will never understand, the tough time i have been through and finally i'm able to be with him.
You will never understand how much i don't want to lose him.
Thanks for giving me this bravery to admit that i really love him more than what i've thought.
You have push me to the limit till i would sacrifices anything to protect our relationship.
This also prove that our love is so real.
So, to my dear.
Just an advise to you, let go everything that you see and feel.
This could actually makes you feel better and happier.
I have no impact or harmful to you.
I'm just a lil character in this whole show.
Hope that you can really leave me alone.
Thanks.