I hope that I would have the courage to choose again. Is hard to leave your comfort zone especially when it comes to human relations. But I hope I could walk out from this fantasy and started to look for my happiness. Every woman dreams to get marry to their Mr Right and who doesn't want it, right? Like I said I seriously need a change and move forward to look for my own life. Sometimes is difficult to live without a lime light, you're not exposed but hidden. What's worst when you have to deal with all kinds of rumours and comments. On the other hand dealing with your own jealousy and anger. Just to treat myself fairly, I seriously don't think I deserve all this. Why do I make myself feel like a mistress when I'm not. Why do people can just enjoy being each other lovers, bestfriends, soulmates and I can't? As an ordinary woman who does want to be loved and protected? I didn't ask for any status for all the while not too sure I've done it righ
It was a cold night after all. I am figuring what is the exact problem that I have for all this while. Am I being selfish, too straight forward or I'm simply being stupid? I doesn't really like the feeling when we have an intense argument and later on he is just being sweet and nice, hugging or kissing me. I felt cold at that moment. Sometimes woman is just being weird, and I myself being as an ordinary woman, I feel the same. We can't be treated good. I know if I were to return with a hug or kiss to him, things will just eventually gets better. But I doesn't have the urge to do so, simply because I am being too hard maybe. Let's face the fact that no one could instantly forgive and forget on those harsh words spilling on you, especially when the argument just happend a few hours ago. He made a judgement that I have attitude problems and also saying that he is on my ex-boyfriend shoes now. Eventhough this might be true, I am being ego & self oriented, no