JACKLYN ♥ ORIGIN~

I hope that I would have the courage to choose again. Is hard to leave your comfort zone especially when it comes to human relations. But I hope I could walk out from this fantasy and started to look for my happiness. Every woman dreams to get marry to their Mr Right and who doesn't want it, right? Like I said I seriously need a change and move forward to look for my own life. Sometimes is difficult to live without a lime light, you're not exposed but hidden. What's worst when you have to deal with all kinds of rumours and comments. On the other hand dealing with your own jealousy and anger. Just to treat myself fairly, I seriously don't think I deserve all this. Why do I make myself feel like a mistress when I'm not. Why do people can just enjoy being each other lovers, bestfriends, soulmates and I can't? As an ordinary woman who does want to be loved and protected? I didn't ask for any status for all the while not too sure I've done it righ...

It was a cold night after all. I am figuring what is the exact problem that I have for all this while. Am I being selfish, too straight forward or I'm simply being stupid? I doesn't really like the feeling when we have an intense argument and later on he is just being sweet and nice, hugging or kissing me. I felt cold at that moment. Sometimes woman is just being weird, and I myself being as an ordinary woman, I feel the same. We can't be treated good. I know if I were to return with a hug or kiss to him, things will just eventually gets better. But I doesn't have the urge to do so, simply because I am being too hard maybe. Let's face the fact that no one could instantly forgive and forget on those harsh words spilling on you, especially when the argument just happend a few hours ago. He made a judgement that I have attitude problems and also saying that he is on my ex-boyfriend shoes now. Eventhough this might be true, I am being ego & self oriented, no ...

Marry a man who would share everything with you, his family, his friends, his passion, his stories. Marry a man who is gentleman and treat your fairly where you can still be independent. Marry a man who is ambitious and yet still spare time to spend with you. Marry a man who knows when you're feeling weak or ill and would show concern to you. You don't need a man who is good looking because beauty doesn't last. You don't need a man who is ego and self concentrated because you are capable enough to make your own decision. You don't need a rich man because you have your own capability to make your own money. You don't need a man who does not care about your health because you yourself is more important than anything else. Only love when you are ready not because of the affection you have when you're being with him. He could be the one if only you are able to accept his flaws. Face the fact that no one is perfect. So ask yourself if you are ready to make ch...

Almost a year, I am doing fine & living happily with whatever I have now.  Appreciate everything suround me, the people, the job, my family, my newly own goods. Basically is just everything! Just wanted to say that I have move on and adapted with all these new environment & peoples.  But, good heart still remains.  If someone were to ask me, "you have given a choice to choose again will it still be him?" I tell you what, 4years ago I have chosen him, so as well for today.  Ask me a million times, the answer would still be him.  I remember I tweeted this before, it says "time changes people" no doubt is true.  Mind can be changed, attitude can be changed, belief can be changed... But a love heart ain't gonna change. 

Dear Isaac (Yong Cung) It has been more than 7 months after we ended our 27 months of relationship. Whenever I turn around and looked back on what we have done, it were good memories that will never come back. I must have say that, for the past 7 months, I have been dreaming of getting back together with you. I even promised myself to stand at the side, supporting and praying for the best for you. One day you will become successful and come back to me. But I got to face the truth now, even though it is very hard for me at the starting point. Because we all know that the truth is always cruel. You did not give me any hope, it was just me imagining the good ones all these while. I have no one to blame but myself for living in the fantasy of you and me. Now that I realise is time for me to give up. Not because that I am not keen enough nor my love to you is fading. But I know there is no longer space in your heart for me to fit in. Although, I am quite disappointed. What ha...

After six months passes~  Time passes, things changed, you changed and I changed. But my heart will never change~ I'm still standing here waiting for the day. Hoping the best for you.

It was 4 years ago when I get to know this girl. We were studying in the same college and she is my cousin's classmate. The first impression that she gave me is so arrogant and I doesn't really like this girl. Never get along with her until we both work for a part-time together. Started to talk to her and found out this girl is pretty naive and "cute". The impression for me towards her totally change since that day. Right after 3 days of part-time, we plan to visit one of our friend's hometown. There it goes, we took the bus together, stay together, sleeping on the same bed with each other. So, I started to like this girl. Approach her and try to talk to her, sharing and also listening to her story.Then we also went for vacation together with the others. I can't remember since when, she has become a bestfriend of mine. I feel much secure being with her and telling her everything because I have nothing to hide from her. She is a very good list...

Thanks for being there for me whenever I need you. I feel much secure and pampered by having you. Sorry for making you worried bout me and causing you so much of trouble. What ever it is, i do love you more than i love myself.  Thanks baby ❤️

I miss you. Not our memories but the person that i love.  Take your time and do what you want to do.  I will be right here waiting and supporting you. 

And when you're needing your space To do some navigating I'll be here patiently waiting To see what you find I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make No, I won't give up #I won't give up, Jason Mraz

I won't give up on us. Even if the skies  get rough. I'm giving you all my love. God knows we're worth it.

Tonight will be a memorable night.  A night that i cry so hard until im shaking inside and suffocating. A night that i question myself why does it hurt so much. A night that hurt me real bad just because i told myself to be braver.  Reading the entire conversation on that day, reading all his lies from the start. My heart broken in to pieces, tears fall continuously.  Couldnt stop myself from crying. Barely stop.  I need a companion badly right now. Someone who can give me courage.  Courage for me to let this go. I wish im brave enough to say but im shaking inside.  It has been some time i never felt like this.  I wish someone could give me some guidance, what should i do now? 

After keeping all the stress and problems to myself. Today i finally cried infront of him. But things get worst is that he doesnt agree on what is bothering me. Yet, he claimed that im not considerate / understanding (he's asking why cant i be more mature & know how to think). After listening to his words it makes me feel even depress & i cant stop myself from crying. To the extend that i could hardly breath. When he first saw me cry he did ask me gently why am i crying. But he got so annoyed when i repeated a few times "im okay". His reaction seriously makes me feel heartbroken as if he dont really care about my feeling. I keep on asking myself am i wrong? I shouldnt have cry infront of him & makes him got so uneasy. Rather than just feeling helpless, i also felt guilty. Guilty on creating problems to him & causing him mentally discomfort. But still, the problems kept on arousing me. I cant make myself stop thinking. How useless i am to him. How disregard...

Ive told myself a thousand times not to make myself regret.  But ive doubt now. Feel regret now of what ive decided earlier. Yet, i still still gain somethin after this case. That is true that i dont need many friends. A few of true friends will do, im already satisfied. Thanks evelynn and dshen for being there for me when i need you guys the most. Even though we are far apart right now but i believe that you guys will still be here with me whenever i need you. People who does not accept advise and cant take my attitude of being straight forward, i wouldnt have make them stay. Is better for them to leave me cause i dont appreaciate people like this. Finally realised how important of my family and bestfriends to me, especially when i away from home.  I need them better than anything.  I really hope that i could spend my coming birthday with people who i really treasure and appreciate.  Cant wait to get back, be where i belong. I just wanna go home. Today should be an ...

It has been sometime for me to blog as a blogger. Time passes really fast and its like 5 years ago when i first started my blog. That it was such an unpredictable that i am able to maintain my blog up-to-date. Even though i do not post as frequent like i did previously. Well, now it has become a lil gift for myself when ever i read it back. I can really see how stupid and naive i am previously. Sharing alot of my personal "great love" stories. Ewww~ Thinking of it makes me have goose bumps. And i do really wish that i could still able to maintain it even until when i get marriage. *maybe This would be even greater if i could be more hardworking a post more frequent especially regading my daily lifestyle. It helps me to records down each and every minutes of the precious moment. Especially while now i'm studying abroad in UK. Hmph~ hopefully i would extra time so i can spend on my blog. Can't wait for another 5 years to celebrate my 10th Anniversary wi...

Ever since ive step down to UK, ive never happy with my relatioship. Is like lacking of love and care between us.  All i could feel is that im the one who being sensitive all of the time.  But he doesnt really cares, even my feelings are neglected.  Somehow i really suffer with this relationhip here.  Fighting so hard all by myself is not easy. What he thought is that im being emotional all the time.  He dont even know that there are problems occured. All these were cause by him. After he have been here, friends is only his concern. Leaving me, walking alone or staying at home is okay for him. He will never feel lonely like i do. How insecure am i towards this relationship and him. Seriously i dont understand why should i suffer. I really feel like giving up this relationship, not because the problems occured these days but because we dont love each other that much anymore.  He has too much of privacy and he even forgotten that he has a girlfriend that real...

Sorry to keep distrubin you. Im nt sad because you're busy. And i understand how important is your carreer to you. Yet you still nid to face tons of pressure. I reli dun wish to become one of your burden. I simply just need some comfort from you, tellin me that im still exist in your life and i meant somethin to you. You noe wat, i felt like i've been abandon. These two days i keep actin like a stupid, keep checking all your social networks and open up our watsapp chat. Seeing you online but im nt the one you are lookin for. This feeling is painful. Somehow i saw ppl replyin your tweet regardin me, makes me lose all my confident. I totally have no assurance in our relationship. I feel changes in you within these days, seriously. Is good that you've been really agressive for your carreer but at the same time you left me at no whr. The feelin is exactly the same like we almost goin to break up. This is wat makes me sad. Just wanted to know so much that im still available in y...

Is almost a year we have been together. We been through a lot of hard times and obstacles and now we are standing here at this point. My friend told me that, when it comes to a year of relationship there will always be a huge obstacle. Either we both able to walk pass through it or we might failed at this point. And now we have having a major issue here, a communication break down. After review back my previous blog posts, i realize that the problem exist for a very long time ago. Yet, it become more serious now. I did tried to talk to him and make him understand. But somehow, i  personally think that it doesn't work at all. My perception was whenever i speak out for myself at the end of the day it always be my fault. I really think that we need to communicate so that problems can be solve. After struggling for few weeks with him, i have made up my mind to not to care too much. As i really suffer a lot for these while. However, after the confession with my friend, she ...